The Four Stages of Burnout: Are You a Victim?

By Mark Gorkin

Contents:
The Four Stages of Burnout
Double-edged sword
Over the Edge
Relieving the Stress

Editor's Note: Mark Gorkin is a nationally recognized columnist and speaker on the topic of stress. This is the first of an occasional series of columns on handling stress in the workplace.

Anyone can suffer from burnout, but human resource professionals are among the prime candidates within any corporation. What exactly is "burnout" and how can you avoid it? Read on.

Burnout is the gradual process by which a person, in response to prolonged stress and physical, mental and emotional strain, detaches from work and other meaningful relationships. The result is lowered productivity, cynicism, confusion...a feeling of being drained, having nothing more to give.

To provide a framework both for understanding and, hopefully, inoculating against future burnout, let's begin with "The Stress Doc's Vital Lesson of the Four 'R's."

If no matter what you say or what you do, results, rewards, recognition and relief are not forthcoming, trouble awaits. And, the groundwork is being laid for apathy, callousness and despair.

Have I captured your attention? Let's examine some of the progressive signs of being caught up in this erosive spiral.

The Four Stages of Burnout
1. Physical, mental and emotional exhaustion
Maybe you are still holding it together at work, but can you relate to this sequence? As soon as you get home, you head for the fridge, get out the Haagen-Dazs or Ben and Jerry's, turn on the tube, collapse on the sofa and you're comatose for the rest of the evening.

Doing more with less, having plenty of responsibility but not enough authority, or juggling an unmanageable schedule is taking a toll. Normally, you pride yourself on doing a thorough job, a high quality performance. Now you are looking for shortcuts. And this gnaws at your self-esteem. A case of the "brain strain" is developing, accompanied by an energy shortage and feelings of exhaustion. If stress levels continue unabated, you may be ripe for the second stage.

2. Shame and doubt
Perhaps this scenario is familiar: A supervisor asks you to take on a new assignment. You want to, but this voice inside silently screams, "Who are you kidding!" So what's happening? You're not feeling confident about the future; and you're feeling pretty lousy in the present. Not surprisingly, you may even start discounting your past accomplishments.

Beware -- this is not a logical process; it's a psychological one. Now you wonder if colleagues, friends or family members will detect that something is wrong. While projecting a competent image has been the norm, now this voice inside is relentlessly shouting, "Impostor!"

Is chronically grappling with a profound sense of vulnerability or uncertainty anyone's favorite state? It's certainly not mine. No surprise then that some folks will progress to the third phase:

3. Cynicism and callousness
In response to that prolonged feeling of insecurity or vulnerability, some folks feel there's only one thing left to do: put on the heavy armor. They develop an attitude that says, "Look out for No. 1." or "Cover your derriere." And, in the short run, the strategy often works. You become sufficiently abrasive or obnoxious, people start avoiding you. But this hard exterior can eventually become a burdensome, self-defeating strategy.

Here's an example. Years ago, I was leading a workshop at a construction industry conference. There was a guy, I'll call him Joe, who was head of a large plumber's union. Joe was basically a down to earth, nice guy, who found himself becoming increasingly bitter, with that hard attitude.

Granted, Joe was in a position that pulled him in all directions -- compelling demands, favors, complaints, even bribes. Still, what do you think was Joe's biggest stress trap? That's right, Joe was a "nice guy."

What can't nice guys and nice gals do? They can't say "no," nor are they confident establishing their boundaries. They have difficulty with authority -- being one or interacting with one. These nice folks tend to avoid conflict; they don't want to hurt others' feelings. They are not comfortable with anger, or don't know how to express their frustration or displeasure in a focused manner. Their personal mantras are "be fair" and "accommodate" (while feeling deep rejection when other's aren't fair or accommodating.)

People with an accommodating personality will, despite having a full workload plate, take on new work when asked. But being a team player doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your integrity or health. There's an option: You can say, "Sure I'll help you with this new demand and deadline. But for me to give the assignment the attention it deserves, we'll have to renegotiate my priority list and timelines."

I'm not saying there aren't extraordinary and emergency situations. But there is a difference between urgent and important. When everything is urgent, nothing is important. Setting realistic limits is not a negative reflection on your work ethic or your ability to go the extra mile. Without boundaries, that mile often morphs into a marathon.

And there's another reason for paying attention to this process. Burnout doesn't just facilitate a hardening of the psyche. When your stress starts to smolder into frustration and anger; then turns to suspicion and mistrust, it's a formula for hardening the arteries, as well. Cardiovascular complications, high blood pressure, even premature heart attacks can ensue. Which is why, usually, I'd rather people hit the fourth stage of burnout, than linger in the third.

4. Failure, helplessness and crisis
Being caught in a familiar "Catch-22" often signals this final phase: You are "damned if you do, damned if you don't." Your coping structure seems to be coming unglued. Next stop...the psychiatric ward!

Well, probably not. However, the crisis smoke signals are billowing big time. Why is that? Burnout is like trying to race a marathon -- full speed, nonstop. Can anyone race 26 miles full speed, nonstop? Of course not. Even Olympic marathon runners must pace themselves. If not, the body parts will break down. And with burnout, over time, the mental apparatus also wears out. In fact, one reason the fourth stage is so disorienting is that a person's psychological defenses have worn down.
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Double-edged sword
Hey, before throwing up your hands, remember burnout is not for wimps. A lot of other folks would have jumped ship much earlier. Many of you reach the farther stages of burnout because of your tenacity and dedication. You have a strong sense of responsibility and don't like being deterred from reaching your goals.

All noble qualities, unless your compelled by rigid perfectionism. Then, pursuing your goals takes a back seat to proving others wrong. Especially in times of overload, uncertainty and major change, "driven and rigid responsibility" can quickly transform a performance benefit into a personal and professional liability.

Also, these folks are usually not just responsible, they often are quite responsive to others. People lean on them for support. Are you a pillar of strength for those around you? If so, will those who depend on you be quick to notice when you are feeling shaky or that you may need a shoulder? Often not, as their sense of security is contingent on you always being strong and available.

Are you buying into this "superperson" role or hiding behind a heroic mask? Maybe you're the emotional sponge in the office, frequently absorbing your colleagues' complaints. Can you hear that screeching, scratching sound? That's the stress knot twisting and turning tighter and tighter about your neck.
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Over the Edge
No wonder people start jumping out of jobs or school, out of relationships, sometimes just jumping. And for those not into jumping, you may be into swinging by the fourth stage. Mood swinging, that is, between short highs and/or prolonged depressive lows.

So here's the existential question: Is it Miller Time or Prozac Time? From my perspective, it's way too late for the former (though, clearly, many people disagree with me) and a decision on the latter requires expert opinion. But that's exactly the key for transforming a danger into an opportunity.
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Relieving the Stress
Fourth stage burnout is the crisis point, it's crunch time. Are you ready to step up to the plate and reach out for the help and resources you need?

A person recovers and expands his or her strengths and possibilities through a crisis by:

• Getting proper and sufficient support from someone trained in crisis intervention and loss;
  
• Confronting denial, false hopes, cynicism or helplessness;
  
• Grieving past and present losses while turning guilt, hurt, anxiety and aggression into focused energy, and
  
• Acquiring and applying skills and technology for turning new problem solving options into productive attitudes and actions.

Mark Gorkin, is a licensed clinical social worker and national speaker and trainer on stress, communications, team building, creativity and humor. He is the "Online Psychohumorist" for the major AOL mental health resource, Online Psych, and for Financial Services Journal Online. For more information, visit his Web site at: http://www.stressdoc.com or email Stress Doc@aol.com.
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